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My Fears, Pains, Chaos, Excitements, Pleasures: First Sexual Encounter

Here are some of the questions that often come across the mind of a woman after having her first sexual encounter!

First Sexual Encounter

It was all pleasant and beautiful till I figured out those blood stains on my pants followed by excessive bleeding after my first sexual encounter. I felt most helpless and fragile in a split second. My happiness turned out to be the moments of great trauma and panic. Looking at the stains only elevated my nervousness that I couldn’t control. Because I did not have much idea about how much amount of blood would exactly ooze out when the hymen breaks. I wanted to talk to my partner, close friends or to someone with whom I can share what’s going on. But, I relied on google. I tried to read articles and information pieces on my condition but I didn’t find any satisfying answer.

All I felt was the need of someone who can hear me out and console me with- “this happens during the first sexual encounter and there is absolutely no reason to be worried about”. All I was repeatedly asking myself was ‘whether this is normal or is it just me who’s going through this chaos after one of the most beautiful moments in my life?’

Similarly, you might have experienced the same, maybe even worse! Here are some of the answers to the questions you may refuse to ask someone in person.

Having heavy bleeding after first intercourse. Is that normal?

Yes, it is very normal. The bleeding is caused by the stretching of hymen till it tears. For some, the flow will be too minimal while others may experience heavy bleeding after the intercourse. So it completely depends upon your body and how it reacts to the new change. There is nothing to be worried about. In case if the bleeding doesn’t stop even after three days, I would recommend you to consult with a doctor.

How long does it bleed?

Normally, the bleeding stops in a day or so but in some cases, it can go till 3-5 days. This can be due to various other reasons like an external injury at your g-spot, too much stress etc.

Aaargghhhh! Why it hurts too much!!?

Vagina is, perhaps, one of the sensitive parts of the body. If you aren’t lubricated, this may lead to vaginal pain. While you urinate, a sore vagina can cause pain for two days after sex.

I don’t know if I had an orgasm, is it normal?

For someone having a sexual encounter for the first time, it is normal to not experience orgasm. Some girls don’t have an orgasm during most of their sexual encounters – a bitter truth! Besides, many times, women are not able to understand whether they had an orgasm or not during their first sexual play. So, if you are one such woman who is clueless about having or not having an orgasm then be rest assured it is okay and you are not the only one. Orgasm is experienced when you reach the highest point of sexual satisfaction. It has often been observed or said that majority of the girls don’t feel sexual pleasure while having intercourse. They long for oral sex or foreplay and often end up having multiple orgasms.

First sexual encounters can or cannot be pleasurable since you and your partner are on the experimental stage. Being sexually active will help you explore each other’s bodies and identify pleasure points. With time, you’ll understand your body well and will be able to figure out whether you had an orgasm or not. If not, then how you can have it.


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We didn’t really have sex but still, I was bleeding. Why?

It is quite normal that while you are having sex for the first time, you don’t really get wet. There might be multiple thoughts, inhibitions, prejudices and anticipations overruling your sex life which may pull you off from being in the moment. If you aren’t lubricated enough, the vaginal wall can split while penetration due to the pressure. Maybe, this can be one of the reasons why you bled even though you really didn’t have proper sexual intercourse.

I didn’t even bleed, is that normal?

Yes. It is not definite that you have to bleed while making love for the first time. Contrary to popular notion, bleeding has nothing to do with your virginity. Of course, a few drops of blood don’t define your purity. Sometimes, depending on your body and the working of hormones, clear watery discharge can come out instead of blood.

Suddenly, I felt dizzy after sex. What do I do about it?

It might be because of various reasons like changing sex positions abruptly, stress, variation in blood pressure, weakness, dehydration etc. so make sure that you’re taking proper care of your body with healthy diets. It is obvious to feel light headed and dizzy, but if you feel too nauseous and sick even after two days, better get an appointment with a doctor.


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Will it bleed the next time we have sex?

Ummmm. It might be. So make sure that you’re well lubricated. Before rushing into having the intercourse, just take a breath and make sure your partner wants to proceed as well. If she signals you to stop, respect her call and try to understand that she might be going through immense pain.

The first sexual encounter may not always be the best but it’s an opportunity to recognize how much you love and long for each other. Rather than getting conscious, let yourself be in each other’s arms. Ask and love them the way they want to be loved and explore the fun together.

PS: Guys out there, to be a man of your lady love, ask for her consent because that will only increase the love and respect she has for you! Happy love making 😉

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Written by Taylor Adams

Taylor is a sexual health blogger and relationship educator. She helps individuals understand the theory of lovemaking and helps improve the intimacy between couples. At Foxamour, she provides readers with tips to nurture their relationships and strengthens their chemistry with their partners.

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